I have the right...

I hate being angry. It's worse when it's anger at someone I care about.

On one hand, I know that I owe this person a great deal in the grand scheme of things. I also know that many times I've failed this person in the past. I know this to be true, and I'll never argue that.

At the same time, though, I feel slighted, ignored, and hurt. More than I ever have before in my life. And I'm beginning to understand why.

I am a rather forgiving person. It's my nature to understand and forgive. Not to lay down like a doormat, but to try and put myself in that person's shoes and understand how things could have happened a certain way. I have always done things this way because I'd want that were they my shoes in question.

But what I'm starting to see is that I probably have done that far too much in my life.

Especially with women.

I have the right to say something. I have the right to be hurt. I have the right to be offended. I have the right to this pain. I know very well that were it anyone else but me feeling it, they would be floored. I bear pain differently that many, but not so wholly differently that I'm impervious to it.

I'm not.

It hurts.

And it has hurt for a LONG time.