Well, it looks like a plan has been laid. I have talked to the relevant folks in this equation, and have decided to apply for residency at Great Vow Zen Monastery, with my target date for moving being between May-June of this year. Term of stay is unknown. I'm envisioning the summer, but it could be longer or shorter, with longer being both more than likely, as well as desired. I'm hesitant to make firm statements and plans for the future with this for a few reasons, most notably because doing so is not really all that "zen". My primary motivation for doing this is to simply go taste and see. Don't bring anything to this that isn't there on its own. Just go and inquire. Simply. Openly. Be willing to say whatever the truth of the experience is, even if that answer is "it's not for me right now" or "not for me ever". There is no right or wrong answer to any experience. I have that down... intellectually.

As excited as I am about this new direction, to say that I don't have any trepidation, fear or worry is not true. I have plenty. But now that I've made the decision, I feel so much better. Seriously, what a huge weight to have off of me: where to live, how to afford life, being alone, etc, etc. Suddenly, that's all off of me for the moment. I'm so thankful I could cry.

I need to work on the l'explication grande as far as my family goes. I'm sure a few relatives will think I'm joining a cult (sigh) or a hippie commune. It'll be interesting to see what my mother thinks. She's a hip old gal.

The Heart of Wisdom is in practice. I look forward to experiencing that in a very direct way.

And it starts with Beginner's Mind the first weekend of March.

Good thing I've always liked getting up in the dark of the wee small hours... :)


Ted Lemon said...

Sounds lovely! Getting up in the wee hours to practice is really nice. :')

Zen Trixter said...

Thanks Ted!