I have an ant issue here in my flat. This issue has been exacerbated by the fact that we had an unusually mild and dry winter here in Portland.

I was taking a leak.

There was an ant on the toilet-bowl rim.

Dissatisfaction arises.

I thought about pissing on it. You know... to "help it along".

I didn't.

It was bad enough that its life was about to be flushed down the toilet. No sense in being a bigger prick about it than was truly necessary, "conservation of effort/economy of motion" be damned.

I was an ant once, too.

Pray for the ants.