"Selflessness is not a case of something that existed in the past becoming nonexistent. Rather, this sort of 'self' is something that never did exist. What is needed is to identify as nonexistent something that always was nonexistent."

-Tenzin Gyatso, His Holiness the 14th Dalai Lama

Last night, after returning home from the zendo, I decided to go sit outside for a few minutes.  Since I quit smoking (again, but it's going well this time) I haven't had occasion to do so much lately.  We had an absolutely beautiful sliver of a moon, rolled over on its back with its points facing upwards, as if it could have held all the visible stars in it like a bowl.  It was lovely.

And then it dawned on me.  Not some over-dramatic thunderclap.  No touching the ground before me as a witness.  More like "Oh.  Yeah.  Duh."

Now, two my two Facebook friends, I mean this:

On one hand, you do do everything on your own terms.  You are the one making the decisions.  You are the one either leading, following or getting out of the way.  On the surface, that appears completely true.

Appears.

To quote Warren Zevon:

Don Quixote had his windmills
Ponce de Leon took his cruise
Took Sinbad seven voyages
To see that it was all a ruse...

Once again, Warren-daiosho spells it out.  Well, at least for me.

This idea of "me", "mine" "you", "us", "them", etc, etc, blah... where does it come from?  And by that, I mean where?  Obviously, it's at times a handy construct.  It keeps me from waking up in YOUR bed next to YOUR partner, or driving off in THEIR car, going to THEIR parent's house for dinner, and so on.  But honestly, this idea that any person is inherently different from anybody else really very quickly falls apart upon close inspection.  I mean seriously, it is just a very fragile idea full of gaping holes that you can walk straight through without even turning sideways or stooping down.

The Buddha called the senses that we have to investigate with--as well as all things to be investigated--skhandas, or "aggregates".  You can look at them as piles (in Sanskrit, the word literally translates into "pile", "heap" or "bunch") of things made up of other things.  So, when you get right down to it, that's everything there is.  In truth, all things are of dependent origination; that is, everything is dependent upon something else to bring it into existence.  Even the Big Bang is--many now theorize--a result of another event (the ekpyrotic scenario of two branes touching).  So this idea that there is a "base-level" of "stuff" that exists and cannot be reduced either in size or in linear time is false.  It is convenient, but it is false.  So even the things that are used to investigate reality with are inherently flawed, because they too are of composite build.  This is of course addressed in the Heart of Perfect Wisdom Sutra.

...form does not differ from emptiness; emptiness does not differ from form. Form itself is emptiness, emptiness itself form. Sensations, perceptions, formations, and consciousness are also like this....

Even our senses, our thoughts, our very consciousness is empty.

Therefore, given emptiness, there is no form, no sensation, no perception, no formation, no consciousness; no eyes, no ears, no nose, no tongue, no body, no mind; no sight, no sound, no smell, no taste, no touch, no object of mind; no realm of sight… no realm of mind consciousness. There is neither ignorance nor extinction of ignorance… neither old age and death, nor extinction of old age and death; no suffering, no cause, no cessation, no path; no knowledge and no attainment.

 Nothing to attain.  No one to attain it.  The fear that selflessness is some ego-destruction and transcendence is in itself flawed thinking.

You do not do zen on your own terms.  Zen is zen, irrespective of "you", because there is no "you" to bring anything to it.

You are not "killing" the self.  That's like killing a shadow.

There is just this.

It is just so.

And that's just fine...

My crack at an interpretation of the Heart of Great Perfect Wisdom Sutra*...

The great and selfless teacher holding the lotus, while directly and simultaneously experiencing both Being and non-Being**, clearly and unmistakably comprehended that all sensations of mind and body are inherently empty, and through that realization, extinguished all suffering. (1)

The teacher aided the student, saying “Being and non-Being** are exactly one and the same. All that can be experienced is just so.” (2)

The teacher continued, saying “All truths are defined by their inherently empty nature; they are outside of linear time, cannot be sullied or made more holy, nor grow nor shrink away. They are just so.” (3)

The teacher elaborated; “So, appreciating this inherent emptiness, there is no compound or composite thing that is perceivable with the senses, nor anything imaginable by the mind, that is not inherently empty as well. Further, because these senses are themselves composite and dependent things, they too are empty. So, nothing perceivable with the body or the mind has any nature in-and-of itself. All within and without is inherently empty. But because this is so, a personal understanding and appreciation of this fact means that knowing and not knowing are one and the same thing as well, as are life and death, suffering and not-suffering, starting and stopping, Being and non-Being. There is no path to knowledge, because their is no knowledge. There is no attaining because there is nothing to attain. Because of the selfless nature of reality, a fully awakened being relies upon the direct, continuing experience of inherent emptiness moment to moment as a way of removing all impediments to a direct experience of that selfless nature. With nothing impeding them, there is no fear of the falling away of the ego, because the ego is itself empty. When this is mastered, and all incorrect views are eliminated, enlightenment is achieved.” (4)

The teacher clarified; “This mastery of the direct experience of emptiness defines all enlightened beings, as only those who depend on and continually practice this experiential realization achieve this unending and perpetual state of perfect enlightenment.” (5)

The teacher summarized; “Because of our exposure to this great, unarguable truth, we know that a first-hand experience of the empty nature of all things is the universal truth of reality, the light that illuminates all things yet casts no shadows, the supreme song of the Universe, the chant of all chants that eliminates suffering by reminding us that suffering is merely a sensation that is empty. Therefore, we insist that this song of songs is the guide to the direct experience of emptiness, the song whose lyrics state;

‘Gone. Gone beyond. Entirely gone beyond duality. This is Enlightenment...’” (6)

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*= As is used by my sangha, (ZCO)...

(1) "Avalokiteshvara Bodhisattva, when deeply practicing Prajna Paramita, clearly saw that all five aggregates are empty and thus relieved all suffering."

(2) "Shariputra, form does not differ from emptiness; emptiness does not differ from form. Form itself is emptiness, emptiness itself form. Sensations, perceptions, formations, and consciousness are also like this."

(3) "Shariputra, all dharmas are marked by emptiness; they neither arise nor cease, are neither defiled nor pure, neither increase nor decrease."

(4) "Therefore, given emptiness, there is no form, no sensation, no perception, no formation, no consciousness; no eyes, no ears, no nose, no tongue, no body, no mind; no sight, no sound, no smell, no taste, no touch, no object of mind; no realm of sight… no realm of mind consciousness. There is neither ignorance nor extinction of ignorance… neither old age and death, nor extinction of old age and death; no suffering, no cause, no cessation, no path; no knowledge and no attainment. With nothing to attain, a bodhisattva relies on Prajna Paramita, and thus the mind is without hindrance. Without hindrance, there is no fear. Far beyond all inverted views one realizes nirvana."

(5) "All Buddhas of past, present and future rely on Prajna Paramita and thereby attain unsurpassed, complete, perfect enlightenment."

(6) "Therefore, we know the Prajna Paramita as the great miraculous mantra, the great bright mantra, the supreme manta, the incomparable mantra, which removes all suffering and is true, not false. Therefore we proclaim the Prajna Paramita mantra, the mantra that says:

'Gate Gate, Paragate, Parasamgate, Bodhi Svaha!'"

**=was "existence and non-existence".